How to Deal with the Stress of Hardships

Nothing is more transformative to a person than facing hardship. Yet, not everyone emerges from it stronger. Many fall into familiar, destructive patterns—emotional withdrawal, overconsumption of food or alcohol, total disengagement from life. These behaviors aren't just bad habits; they are symptoms of a deeper internal collapse. When we’re overwhelmed by stress, we often regress—not because we’re weak, but because we’re human.

When Stress Breaks Us

Stress can trap people in prolonged states of mental and emotional inertia. The weight of grief, rejection, or failure can dull one’s spirit, leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms that slowly chip away at one’s sense of purpose. These moments aren’t dramatic; they’re quiet, lonely, and often invisible to others. They’re the skipped meals, the sleepless nights, the sudden indifference toward things that once brought joy.

But transformation begins with one hard truth: you are not meant to stay in this state forever.

Stress and What It Makes of You

To revisit a key idea: transformation. This isn’t a poetic concept—it’s a real, psychological reshaping of the self. Stressful events pressure the mind to choose: sink deeper or rise differently. Consider a moment of personal loss or rejection. Your body might have reacted with breathlessness, your mind spinning with intrusive thoughts and self-doubt. In those moments, time warps. You lose sight of structure, future plans, even your identity.

But slowly, something begins to shift. You learn to process, to adapt. The ache may not disappear, but you begin to carry it differently. That’s transformation. And it doesn't happen once—it happens many times, quietly, over the course of your life. It’s not perfect, linear, or visible. But it’s real.

What Shapes Your Response

Transformation isn’t guaranteed. It’s shaped by both internal strength and external circumstances. Someone grieving a miscarriage will experience stress differently than someone who failed an exam. Both experiences matter. Both can alter someone deeply. But they don’t compare.

Support systems—therapy, medication, close relationships—can help people adapt faster. But sometimes, those without support rise higher than expected, and those with every resource remain stuck. Why? Because ultimately, transformation is personal. You’re the one steering the ship. The direction you take is not decided by circumstance alone.

Even if you feel like everything around you is out of control, your inner decisions—your mindset, your will to move—still matter. That’s where change begins.

Facing Stress with Intention

Viktor Frankl said the key to survival is not in focusing on suffering itself, but in finding meaning through it. That doesn't mean ignoring your pain or forcing positivity. It means choosing not to let pain consume the last of your power.

Resilience is not the absence of emotion. It is the ability to feel pain fully, but not let it dictate your actions. Let yourself cry. Let yourself be angry. But don’t let those emotions govern your long-term choices.

Think clearly. Reflect deliberately. And when the storm passes—even if just a little—plan your next step. Staying calm while hurting is not easy, but it’s possible. It’s not a natural trait—it’s a skill. A skill you can build.

The Growth No One Sees

Real growth is unglamorous. It’s found in the way you pick yourself up after one more disappointment. In how you decide to keep showing up for life, even when you’re exhausted. It’s about learning to be uncomfortable without giving up.

As Nietzsche once described, adversity becomes meaningful when you give it purpose. Not every hardship carries a silver lining, but every hardship can be responded to with intention. That’s how you ensure you never stay in the same place for too long.

References

Alcohol and mental health. (n.d.). Retrieved March 26, 2025, from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/alcohol-and-mental-health
Are you carrying ‘emotional baggage’? Here’s how to break free. (2021, September 16). Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/mind-body/how-to-release-emotional-baggage-and-the-tension-that-goes-with-it
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2008). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. Harper Perennial Modern Classics. (Original work published 1990)
Frankl, V. E. (1992). Man’s Search for Meaning (4th ed., I. Lasch, Trans.). Beacon Press.
Why stress causes people to overeat. (2012, January 23). Harvard Health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/why-stress-causes-people-to-overeat